The All-'ultimate frisbee name' team
A collection of my favorite frisbee names
My blog is full of dense, technical posts about frisbee strategy—so it's slightly ironic my most-upvoted Reddit comment is a joke about people with fitting names for frisbee players.
As a lover of nominative determinism, I have a whole list of the best frisbee names. I've linked to actual frisbee players when possible, but some people on the list are non-frisbee-players who just have really good frisbee names.
Defense
If you clicked the link to my Reddit comment, you'll already know two of my D-line starters, Leandro Marx of the Portland Nitro and Sarah Staller of the Utah Wild. I have utmost faith in their on-disc defense.
Callahan Diercks of Huntsville Space Force and Susanna Bidgood of Great Britain will be providing highlight-reel defensive plays. Callahan feels a bit like cheating, since the Callahan is, of course, named after a person. On the other hand, if you allow for poetic license, his full name describes exactly how he makes opposing offenses feel: "Callahan D irks".
(Thanks to Reddit user MidasTouch290 for suggesting Susanna Bidgood. They also suggested the last name Freeman, the implication being, I guess, that they get open all the time.)
Brown Shiver alum Skye Brodsky will bring the highlights on both offense and defense. I'm sure there's other ultimate players named Skye, but she stands out for managing to have "sky" in her name twice.
Offense
This team is going to be full of throwers. In the “throwing metaphors” department, the aforementioned Skye can catch passes from two fellow Brown University schoolmates: Ian Layzer and Alice Cannon.
Reddit user NomadNC3104 suggested a teammate of theirs, but since they didn't give a full name, I'll cite a famous person with the same last name, late night TV host Chelsea Handler.
Before we leave Hollywood, let's give a shout out to movie star Armie Hammer. I'm a little worried he might try to eat one of his teammates (even if we don't have both Sean Ham and Tyler Bacon on our roster, as the 2019 SoCal Condors did), so let's invite chess GM Jon Hammer, instead.
University of Georgia's Ryan Flick will also help us move the disc down the field. (Now, if any of you can find someone with the last name "Backhand", I'll be really impressed.)
In the multilingual department, Nick Lance is a fitting name for one of the more famous frisbee throwers ('lance' is French for (he/she) 'throws'). Baseball Hall of Famer Derek Jeter could have a spot on the team for a similar reason, but he's already busy playing for the baseball version of the All Nominative Determinism team.
Reddit user Isopbc suggested Ottawa ultimate's Erin Huck. Helping her bomb the deep throws is historian Charles O. Hucker, who was quoted in a book I read once. (A doubly good name since people named Charles are often nicknamed "Chuck".)
Who will all those chuckers be putting the disc to? The only good candidate I've got so far is long-time San Francisco Fury star Lisa Couper (Couper is French for "to cut"). I assume there are Latin American frisbee players with the name "Cortar" too, though I haven't found any specific instances yet.
AUDL All-Star Jonathan Nethercutt is one of the best players of his generation. Out of context, I'm not sure his name is quite fitting enough for this list. But it's incredibly apt that he's featured in this Jack Williams video about...getting open by running behind your defender's back.
Miscellaneous
Ultiworld writer Paul Würtztack (pronounced: "vert stack") was the subject of the Reddit post that I commented on. He doesn't really count since, as the thread points out, it's almost certainly a fake name. However, I did come across a recent New York Times Op-Ed written by Megan Stack. The two of them will keep our downfield offense running smoothly.
A friend told me they once played frisbee against someone with the last name…Frisbi. I couldn't find any source to confirm this, but it's not surprising given that the frisbee is—indirectly—named after a person (see here and here). (And if fictional characters are allowed, I’m definitely hiring Ms. Frizzle to coach the team.)
Former Boston Wild Card player Chase Drinkwater is exactly the presence this team needs on the sidelines keeping everyone hydrated. (At party tournaments, he'll be assisted by DC Shadow's Jess Sourbeer.)
Reddit user FieldUpbeat2174 (itself a fitting name for the suggestion that's about to follow) brought up Ultimate Hall of Famer Suzanne Fields. I feel like it's a pretty marginal example—lots of sports have fields—but the bonus points she gets for literally being in the ultimate hall of fame elevates it to being worthy of inclusion.
And of course this list wouldn't be complete without mentioning two of my favorite players...Liv Player of the Portland Rising and Player Pierce of the Carolina Flyers!
Update (2024-08-07):
I eventually found a frisbee-playing Hammer, Kara Hammer of San Francisco Nightlock. Ellen Block of Surly (grandmasters) has a place on my D-line.
Chicago Machine has a coach whose name is Champe. We’ll see how that works out for them. (Update [2024-11-14]: Machine was unable to win the championship but the mixed division was won by a team led by Nathan Champoux.)
Update (2024-09-17):
I know I want Dustin Rooffener on the field when I need someone to catch a jump ball.
Gunnar Heckler is another important sideline presence for obvious reasons!
Update (2024-10-22):
Our opponents’ zone D is no match for famous philosopher/scientist Karl Popper.
Update (2024-11-14): Sarah Savage
If you've got any names to help make this list even better, please let me know!