Reasons to consider being passionate about frisbee
In my role as a frisbee coach, I aim to help people achieve their own goals. It's not my job to tell them what their goals should be. But I'd also like to inspire people to find new goals, and introduce them to potential ways of life that they might be interested in experiencing. The choice is still theirs, but I can help them see the options.
That's what this essay is. I'll explain the benefits of being passionate rather than engaging with frisbee on a casual level. It takes hard work, but it can really be a source of beauty, happiness, and positivity in your life. I want to make sure people know that this path exists. There are ways to be passionate about frisbee (and anything else) that don't require toxicity and burnout.
I've also talked to a number of people who don't care too much about ultimate because they're not very competitive people. But there are reasons to care about a game besides "winning good". I'd like to share a few of those reasons. I hope it might inspire a few people who are a bit less "competitive" to be passionate about a competitive game.
Here's my argument for being passionate about ultimate.
Prelude: be passionate about something
You might read the sections below and think to yourself, this could apply to anything, not just frisbee. You wouldn't be wrong. I think being passionate about things is a good way to live your life—whether it's work, school, making art, or playing frisbee. Personally, I find it rewarding to have multiple passions—one (or more) that is more about physical movement, and one (or more) that is more about thinking. That way, moving my body can recharge me when I'm worn out from thinking, and mental challenges can give me an outlet for my energy when my body is tired.
If you've made it to this blog, you already have some level of interest in frisbee. So it's a natural choice to make frisbee your passion over choosing some totally new physical activity to become passionate about. But if this essay inspires you to care more about another sport you're attracted to, that's great too!
Another small reason you might choose frisbee over other options is that it's still a young, niche sport. In basketball or soccer, you'll never make a lasting impact on the community unless you're a genetic freak athlete and/or freakishly dedicated to practicing (not that that's necessarily a bad thing). In ultimate, a certain level of passion gives you the chance to make a unique contribution to the ultimate community, while still having time in your life for other pursuits.
So why be passionate?
1. Flow states are great
A flow state (aka "being in the zone") is when you're deeply focused on the task at hand, energized and fully immersed. Being in the zone can generate intense feelings. We feel happiness, enjoying what we're doing. People also feel a sense of serenity or timelessness—life's other worries drop away and their mind is fully there in the present moment. These moments of flow can be the moments of our lives when we feel the happiest, the most comfortable in our own skin, and the most alive.
In order to reach flow states, we have to put our heart and soul into the thing that we're doing. Flow states don't just come from having fun doing something. We also need to be skilled enough that we can act on instinct, trusting our bodies to be up to the task. We have to feel a sense of control — that we're having an impact on what's happening, and are capable of solving the problems in front of us. We need to spend time building our skills to reach a level of ability where we can face the challenges in front of us.
Flow states also require us to challenge ourselves — if the challenge is too easy, we can complete tasks while daydreaming, without being mentally absorbed in what we're doing. If the challenge is too hard, we'll be frustrated with our continued failure instead of being absorbed.
Flow states can be some of the most serene, impactful moments in our lives—and to get there we need passion, not just surface-level engagement with an activity. (To read more, there's the Wikipedia page or the book.)
2. Trying to be good is being vulnerable
"Vulnerability" has become a buzzword in our culture in the past ten or so years. Perhaps the person most connected to vulnerability is Brene Brown. Here's how she defines it:
vulnerability is "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." It's that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.
The reason vulnerability has become so popular lately is that we've realized that it's a good thing:
"What most of us fail to understand...is that vulnerability is also the cradle of the emotions and experiences that we crave," says Dr. Brown. "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy courage, empathy, and creativity."
People who I've discussed vulnerability with think of it as "doing emotional stuff": things like having open, honest discussions that make you scared, or taking a chance on a new job. Some examples from Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly include things like: "Standing up for myself, Asking for help, Saying no, The first date after my divorce, Falling in love..." and so on.
In my opinion, trying to be good at something is an important way we can embrace vulnerability in our lives. In ultimate frisbee, we can choose not to try to improve our skills. We know we'll never experience the highest joys of athletic performance, but we also know we'll be safe from the frustration that comes with trying and failing.
When we try our hardest to be good, we open ourselves up to both positive and negative outcomes. It's vulnerable—a state of uncertainty and risk where failure is definitely an option. But as Brene Brown writes, that uncertainty is where some of the deepest, most beautiful and profound moments of our lives are born.
3. Doing hard things brings people together
I know many people who see frisbee as a social activity—a way to connect with people. Usually people who see frisbee this way think that trying hard at frisbee is counter to that goal. They think the harder they try, the harder it will be to make friends through frisbee.
But I think they have it backwards. If the last section was about doing hard things to grow and connect with ourselves, then this section is about doing hard things to grow closer to and connect with other people. (Don't get me wrong, casual social interaction is important too! But many of us are also looking to build deep, long-lasting connections.)
The friends who make the biggest impact on our lives are the ones we do hard things with. Sometimes those hard things are emotional—having an honest conversation when we feel like we're at our lowest point. But doing hard things together doesn't always have to be explicitly emotional. For example being a little scared and lost adventuring together in a foreign country can be a moment of vulnerability that brings us together but isn't quite as "emotional". (And this is not just a feel-good story I'm making up, it's a phenomenon that's been studied by researchers. See for example this article.)
Sometimes hard things are forced on us. Nobody wanted COVID-19 to happen, but we built some deeper relationships as a result. But we don't have to wait for bad news to grow closer with others—"doing hard things together" can mean facing a challenge together that we've chosen.
Trying to achieve our potential on the frisbee field can be a way to do hard things together with friends. In the end, we might fail at our frisbee goals. But the experience of chasing after those goals will bring us closer to our teammates than if we had spent that time playing casual games of pickup.
4. "Shared" flow states connect us to others
Another way trying hard—being passionate—can bring us closer together is through the shared experience of really "clicking" with other players on your team.
Being in perfect synch together on the field is a great way to feel connected to your teammates. There's a shared joy when you execute a perfect team defense, communicating with teammates to cut off all of the other team's options. Or when you know exactly where your teammate is going to cut and throw them a perfect pass that the other team never saw coming.
Like reaching a flow state as an individual, being able to do it with a teammate takes work. It takes the individual work of developing your own skills. On top of that, you and your teammates need to learn how to read each other's minds—through time spent playing together and time spent talking frisbee together. But the hard work pays off in those incredible moments of connection.
Hive Ultimate has some good videos showcasing amazing defensive communication, like this one about the Japanese men's national team. These are not just seven individual players, but a team that is closely connected, reacting and adapting together:
If you are interested in ultimate frisbee as a way to connect with other people, this type of connection is one of the most beautiful ones you can make.
5. It's innately satisfying to be in control
Control is a complex topic. There are unhealthy ways to express control in your life (think "control freak"), but it's also a healthy, innate human need. A lack of control in your life can lead to depression and anxiety. I think of it like this—we all have a need to have freedom, have choices and have control over ourselves, but we don't have the right to control other people. I'm interested in that first type of control.
It can be very satisfying to control your own destiny and have an affect on the world around you. For example, it feels good to get a lucky 'A' on a paper for class, but to me it's even better to know I'm getting an 'A' because I've learned the material well and expressed that knowledge by writing a great paper.
Growing as athletes is one way we can develop our sense of (healthy) control. In the beginning, we tried to throw a flick and where the disc went had no relationship with where we wanted it to go. We had no control, both in the physical sense (the disc went the wrong way) and in a more abstract sense (we tried to create the future we saw in our mind but failed). As our skills grow, we're able to exert more control over the future that happens around us on the frisbee field.
One day, we throw a flick to the corner of the endzone and it goes exactly where we wanted it to. Like writing a great paper, this makes us happy not just because we scored, but also because we were able to exert control over our surroundings and create a future that we envisioned. Throwing a goal that bounced off of three defenders before being caught is a happy surprise. But a deeper feeling of pleasure and comfort with our place in the world comes when we have the skill to do great things on purpose.
6. We give our opponents a chance to experience these same moments
In a game, we're at odds with our opponents—we want to win and so do they. But we don't have to be against our opponents outside of the game.
I know people who feel uncomfortable with sports because of that competitive tension—they feel like cooperation is better than competition, or they worry that it's selfish to try to win for yourself if that means others are losing. And I agree—we should strive to build a community that's filled with togetherness, positivity, and selflessness.
But being competitive on the "game level" can be a healthy way to be community-oriented on the "life level". The incredible moments we can experience through flow states require us to be challenged. We "selfishly" try to win on the game level. But on the life level, we can recognize that the competition from our opponents is bringing out the best in us, and our effort is bringing out the best in our opponents.
Similarly, competition can be another way we (and our opponents) express vulnerability. When nobody really cares about the outcome of the game, neither team is being vulnerable. When you make the choice to try to win, you're being vulnerable—there's a chance you'll lose. When we try our hardest to win, we're giving our opponents a chance to engage in that vulnerability as well—and to experience all the beauty, joy, and feeling of being alive that comes with it.
So being passionate isn't a selfish act. It can be something we do for others—a way we give them an opportunity to experience the joys of passion.
7. Seeing ourselves grow gives us confidence in life
Life can be long, confusing, and frustrating. Knowing that we're making progress can be very satisfying. It can help keep our thoughts from turning negative—we're never really stuck in life if we're continuing to grow and improve. Some studies have found that the people most likely to have high life satisfaction are people who "had a feeling of continued development":
...mastery is meaningful, [and] the benefits of taking on a challenge out of one’s own volition and losing oneself in an activity are immense.
For a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, psychologist Carol Ryff surveyed more than 300 men and women, in order to identify correlates of well-being. She found that people who had “a feeling of continued development,” and saw themselves as “growing and expanding” were more likely to score high on assessments of life satisfaction and self-esteem than those who did not.
Sports are a great way to feel that sense of growing and expanding in life. Some of our bigger goals in life may be so impossibly big that we never really know if we are making progress. We could dedicate 30 years to curing cancer or fighting poverty, and we still might not succeed by the end of it. Facing huge problems like those, it's easy to wonder: am I really making progress? or am I stuck in the mud?
With sports like ultimate, in contrast, it's (relatively speaking) easy to continue improving when we practice. Put in the hours throwing the frisbee, and your throws will almost certainly get better. Ultimate isn't the only thing in life, but when we grow and develop in ultimate we feel more confident that we can do the same thing in life as a whole.
right on